The Clan McSweeny were among the first downsizing victims of the hi-tech revolution. Three generations of Sweenys became unemployed when the British replaced them with a collie named Nigel. Young Tom was the first of the clan to obtain employment when he joined the crew of a traveling circus. Each evening the diminutive lad was placed in a cannon packed with compressed sheep flatulence, and launched over the midway into the waiting folds of Wanda, The World’s Widest Woman. Alas, one night the sheep had gotten into Mrs. Gilhooley’s broccoli patch and the fuel was a bit too rich. Young Tom was launched over the astonished midway, over the distraught Wanda, across the nearby harbor, and onto the deck of the departing SS Zito. Because he was too small to serve as an anchor and not bright enough to be a navigator, he was promptly mounted upon the bow and used to ward off evil sea spirits. Apparently it worked, because the Zito eventually sailed into port at the training facility in Davey Nebraska. In gratitude, the lads made him a team member against his will. Tom referees professional boxing when he is not refereeing bouts between Zitotians and misguided bouncers.